Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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