I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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