Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm really busy with my period
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