it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
