First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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