i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
