dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
