in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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