We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
