nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
