even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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