No stitches, just platelets and will power
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
