your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
