She's JV to your varsity
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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