Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Please, let me fuck your mom
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
