So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
