She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
