These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
