He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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