Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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