tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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