we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
