i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
