I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
