dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
