to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
handjob tips. give me some.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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