i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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