Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
