Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think I won the penis lottery.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A+ Viking dick
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
