White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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