I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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