i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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