took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
