Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
NoShamevember. You game?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
