Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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