So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
