Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
