Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
