dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I just sharted jello shots
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
