Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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