You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
His hands were made for my vagina.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
