What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
