I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
