we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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