He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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