God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
