i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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