I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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