dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
there was a trapeze. enough said
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize