I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
