8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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