I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
