I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize