these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
