I bet he comes in French.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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