the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize