Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
