I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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