Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
