Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Non-Jews are for practice
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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