Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So vagazzling was a success
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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