so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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