She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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