i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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